The 5 Hidden Energy Drainers: Why You’re So Tired
From burnout to balance: Psychotherapist Anna Mathur on why you’re so tired and how to reclaim your energy this festive season
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Ever wonder why you feel so tired regardless of how much you’ve done?
The other day I did a live TV interview. My smart watched showed that my calorie burn was off the charts. ‘That’s odd’ I thought. ‘I’ve moved far less than normal'. It was a stark reminder that emotional and mental stress (even the good kind), drains our body batteries.
It got me thinking. So often we can shame ourselves for feeling so tired when we’ve not expended physical energy, when in truth, it’s only one of many ways to burn through our battery. I’m going to talk you through the 5 ways you may be spending your energy, and how to find more of the rest you need, even when things feel busy.
Life picks up the pace at Christmas, with the increased admin that comes with organising for the festive period, gift buying, tying up work so you can step away for bit, and more social invitations than any other time of the year. The one thing that so often gets edged out to make way for all of this extra call on time and energy, is rest!
Slow afternoons, walks, quiet evenings and more relaxed weekends get filled up with ‘doing’. We become less present and more focussed on efficiency and facilitating fun for those around us. This increase in life pace requires mental, physical and emotional energy, yet leaves less space in our lives, minds and diaries to refuel, replenish and recalibrate.
Many of us will be trying to fit in spending time with friends and families over the festive period. Whilst this may nourish us socially, it can also further edge out the opportunities for space and quiet we need.
So, here are the 5 energy sappers, along with tips on how to recharge your battery.
1 - Mental energy sappers
How we use mental energy: Almost everything in our modern culture requires great spending of our mental energy. We are bombarded with visual imagery, electronic sound (for example music and notifications) almost constantly, both within and outside our homes. Each bit of information, news article, advert or email all require mental energy as our brains race to process and assess each piece of information. Whether you work in a job requiring concentration or not, you will be expending huge amounts of mental energy per day.
How we get worn out mentally: We are flooded with constant, ever changing and updating news feeds, notifications, emails, messages. Whether you are a business analyst, a lawyer, a technician, an engineer, or someone juggling a family and the needs of the home, you will be processing and analysing constant incoming information from the world around you, all requiring mental energy.
How to rest mentally: Mental rest gives our minds respite from the constant processing of information. We have to be very intentional about finding ways to place boundaries around how in touch we are with the world, and the technological world we live in aims to lure us to click, refresh and engage as much as possible! Place boundaries around phone usage. Consider screen free time to help your mind wind down before bed. Taking time to block out some of your senses gives your brain a break from all the processing! Perhaps lie for a moment with your eyes closed and an eye mask on, or invest in some noise cancelling earplugs or headphones to give your brain a break from processing noise momentarily!
2 - Physical energy sappers
How we use physical energy: Maybe your job is physical, such as something that requires a lot of standing, lifting, moving or handling. Perhaps you lean on physical exercise that raises your heart beat and has you leaping around, to benefit your mental health. Or it might be that your lifestyle has you racing around at 100mph from one thing to another, from school drop off to after school clubs. We expend physical energy every time we move, and some expend more than others.
How we get worn out physically: The more we give out, the more we need. It’s a simple science! The more we ask of our bodies, the more we need to replenish and refuel so that we can maintain an equilibrium, aiding mental and physical health! The more we use physical energy, the more physically tired and depleted we become.
How to rest physically: Physical rest gives our body a chance to recover and refuel after movement, be it a workout or a physical day with the kids or at work. Slow down, rest physically through intentional relaxation (such as stretching or meditation), or passive relaxation – an early night or an evening on the sofa. Lessening the demands on your body some days of the week will help restore you and replenish that physical energy before you get back to it!
3 - Emotional energy sappers
How we use emotional energy: Some use a lot of emotional energy, be it through parenting, caring for someone or working in a role where you are connecting emotionally with others. Our emotional energy is another resource we have, an amazing one which allows us to nurture and connect richly with others, but like all other resources, we don’t have it in endless supply without cost!
How we get worn out emotionally: We can become emotionally exhausted requiring respite, boundaries and downtime. 47% of respondents say they will open up to a stranger who is being empathetic, highlighting how at this time during the pandemic mental health crisis, it is more important than ever that we are replenishing our emotional energy so that we can continue to support one another.
How to rest emotionally: Place boundaries around the tasks and relationships that relentlessly drain you. Perhaps you speak to someone often who you are spending emotional energy on in terms of listening and supporting them, and you decide to limit the length of the meetings or phone calls whilst you replenish your emotional energy. Perhaps you choose to not answer calls, emails or phone messages between certain hours so that you create some space between engaging emotionally in relationships, and going to sleep, so that you lessen the likelihood of lying awake and worrying.
4 - Creative energy sappers