From tinsel to tasks: navigating the mental load together this holiday season

Strengthening Communication and Connection Amidst the Holiday Hustle

So, the mental load lately? It’s basically the usual overwhelm wrapped in tinsel, hyped up on mince pies, and then sped up to 2.5x.

You’ve got your normal life admin and parenting—plus Christmas. It’s managing both the everyday and the seasonal chaos at once. You’re not just getting stuff done, you’re thinking ahead and managing different layers of responsibility.

In my Frazzled Mum’s Club chat one member asked:

‘How do I explain the mental load to my partner without nagging. I can’t seem to make my (helpful and well-meaning) husband understand what’s going on in my brain 24/7!’

This is a common question. Many of us carry an invisible mental load, managing the ongoing stream responsibilities that others may not notice. Feeling unseen by others can prompt feelings of hurt, resentment and disconnection.

Here are 5 ways to approach the mental load in a relationship to help pave way for understanding, balance, and support.

1 – Get it out of your head

Grab a big piece of paper and begin to write down everything that is sitting in your mind. Don’t attempt to place them in any order, just get it all out and written down. From the ‘add loo roll to the online shop’, to ‘Danny hates mushrooms’ or ‘WhatsApp Liz to acknowledge her grief this Christmas’.

The process of writing down all that you hold is beneficial for two reasons. Firstly it gives you clarity and compassion as to why you’re feeling overwhelmed. Secondly it means you can do something with this information.

Share this piece of paper with your partner and talk about your experience of holding these things in mind. It creates an opportunity for empathy, discussion and collaboration.